Rod Sterling created a Sci-fi TV show called the Twilight
Zone popular in the early 1970’s and 1980’s this series spawned a Movie and a
new series and depicted decisions and choices made in Human life with a sci-fi
outcome.
Sci-fi (Science Fiction) became a morbid reality with drug
addiction as cocaine was produced in its most dangerous and addictive form in
the Early 80’s. Crack Cocaine changed lives in hours and destroyed lives in
days shattering futures for eternity. A new form of Methamphetamine did the
exact same thing in the later 1990’s and now through much of the 2000’s.
A woman can leave her two story farm house for her
Advertising job in the city while driving her BMW down a busy highway and make
a Choice and decision stop the car at a crack or meth house and in under six
hours own absolutely nothing vanishing into a world so sick and evil City
police cringe when its discussed. The woman will witness things that Rod
Sterling could not yet even imagine. If the woman were to make new choices
based on previous bad decisions she might at some point escape this nightmare
and live long enough to successfully complete a 120 day in-patient program and
never have to use again. But her live will never be the same, she will be permanently
changed both mentally and physically.
A man making 50K a year with a wife and three children can
make this same decision – Rod Sterling was never prejudice over men or woman,
nor is the grip of Drug addiction! Whether straight or gay, male or female,
young or old all can become lost to the powerful Science-Fiction life of drug
addiction. There is no reality for many of us once we are lost in it.
There is
just then and now, and now is all we fixate upon. On occasion while in search
of a fix or bling we might reflect back but it’s always whipped out by there
here and now as we scrape a pipe once more or lick a bag, search the carpet and
wander aimlessly looking for a connect.
Baffling even more is what it was that made us drop
everything and never use again – having the addiction and uncontrollable crave
jerked out of us and our bodies thrown from that realm and world back to this
one, the normal one. Many of the stories I have heard as well as my own are so
Science fiction that it makes writers and Sci-fi authors twist their heads in disbelief
and horror as well as utter amazement.
By decisions I have made both positive and negative and
choices I made good and bad I walked to where I am now and while I may have to
pay the consequence of a bad choice for life I am able to appreciate life as I
know it today. For through all the wreckage and destruction, I am reborn and
able to make new decisions and choices. Life is like this for everyone not just
addicted and recovering. Life is a series of death’s and re-births as the body
and mind grow and grow wiser. Unfortunately some of us die along the way and
never get to see the dimension we who survived walked through – Of course we
lost out on seeing theirs also. Maybe they are still walking beside us but that
we made a different decision which placed us on separate roads. A parallel
universe if you will.
So I have made some bad choices and will pay for them for
life, I also made some good ones and have the ability to show these to others
so they might not make the choice I made and live a life of sadness. I am a
leader and a follower – If I cross a road full of busy traffic first I can go
back and show others how to cross safely also. And as I journey forward I
listen to people who have crossed other roads similar and survived.
We are leaders and followers in Recovery, in business and
social environments and in life. We are being helped by those who have walked
before us and we are helping those who are walking behind us and were all
winners when we complete the race, each and every one of us with the help of
all!
Could we have looked at God for all of this and saved the
time and trouble? I don’t think so, I believe for us to find God we have to
walk through the depths of hell only in doing so will we know who God is and
what life is about.
Of course this is coming from someone who ran to help a
friend in need came home and yelled at the dogs, took a few Tylenol PM’s
flipped on a Russian Techno station playing progressive Trance and typed this
while black mascara tears slid down cheeks as she reflected back to a life once
lived that someone else has now chosen that’s close to her.
I can’t say what I really want to do right now because
Social media sites have cracked down on those things so I will sit back in the
dark and cry for this person while listening to the Trance and watching the
ghosts in my head dance away!
I know we all loose things in recovery sometimes and many of us get them or better back. But this friend I really hated to see chose to loose with meth. I can only pray it leaves enough of her when its done with her.
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